Skip to main content

NURSERY RHYMES FOR LITTLE CONSPIRACY THEORISTS

What with the shorter days, Omicron on the rampage, “unprecedented” tornadoes, and TFG staggering around the news like some goddam zombie, I thought it might be high (as it were) time for a little humor.  A friend had sent me a musical riff on some wacky QAnon escapee who just can’t seem to give up the fantasy, and the idea of an adult voluntarily behaving like a five-year-old reciting nonsense reminded me of my time in kindergarten.  So get out your blankie and settle in with some milk and cookies for nursery rhymes for little conspiracy theorists.   

The itsy bitsy dumb shit crawled up the water spout.

Down came the truth bomb, and washed the dumb shit out.

Out came the sun, and dried up all the crap,

And the itsy bitsy dumb shit went up the spout ASAP.

 

 

Twinkle, twinkle, little Q,

How I wonder who are you.

Up above reality,

Down by you just fantasy.

Twinkle, twinkle, little Q.

How I wonder who are you.

 

Here we go round the ‘spiracy bush,

The ‘spiracy bush,

The ‘spiracy bush.

Here we go round the ‘spiracy bush

On a cold and frosty morning.

This is the way we own the libs,

Own the libs,

Own the libs,

This is the way we own the libs

On a cold and frosty morning.

 

 

Brain, brain go away. 

Come again another day.

Brain, brain go away

QAnon just wants to play.

 

 

Trumpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All of Q’s horses and all of Q’s men,

Couldn’t put Trumpty Dumpty in power again.

 

 If you’re crazy and you know it, clap your hands.

(clap clap)

If you’re crazy and you know it, clap your hands.

(clap clap)

If you’re crazy and you know it, and you really want to show it.

If you’re crazy and you know it, clap your hands.

(clap clap)

 

 

I’m a little crackpot

Short and stout

Q is my handle

Just hear me spout.

 

When I get all steamed up

Hear me shout

“Tip me over

and lies pour out!”

 

 

QAnon went up the hill

To fetch a pail of bullshit.

Q fell down and broke his crown,

Nothing real came out of it.

 

 

Old QAnon had a farm, E I E I O,

And on his farm he had some trolls, E I E I O.

With a dox dox here and a dox dox there,

Here a dox, there a dox, everywhere a dox dox.

Old QAnon had a farm, E I E I O.

 

 

Row, row, row your ”facts,”

Gently down mainstream,

Media, media, media, media,

Truth is but a meme.

 

 

You put your right wing in,

You put your right wing out,

You put your right wing in,

And you shake it all about.

You do the Hokey Jokey,

You turn the facts around,

That’s what it’s all about.

 

This old Q, he played one

He played knick-knack on my thumb

With a knick-knack paddy whack

Down the rabbit hole

This old Q is one asshole.

 

Keep it real! And wear your damn mask!

Marilyn


 

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS

A vocal critic of Benito Mussolini, Antonio Gramsci, Italian philosopher and politician,  was imprisoned for his political views in 1926; he remained in prison until shortly before his death in 1937.   From his cell, he wrote the  Prison Letters in which he famously said, “I’m a pessimist because of intelligence, but an optimist because of will."   In this time of upheaval, when the post-World War II world order is dying, a new world order is being born, and monsters roam the earth, it is from Gramsci's dual perspective that I write this post.    I will be brief. Th e window to oppose America’ s headlong rush into authoritarianism at home and neo-imperialism abroad by congressional or judicial means has closed.   Law firms, universities, businesses, the press, media, foundations, and individuals alike who have been deemed "insufficiently aligned" with the Administration's agenda, have been intimidated into submission by frivolous lawsuits, expe...
8 comments
Read more

DISPUTING KEATS

The great English poet John Keats wrote in his magnificent 1819 poem, Ode on a Grecian Urn , “Beauty is truth, truth beauty,--that is all Ye know on earth, and all Ye need to know.”  Were that it were so!   But poetry cannot hide the fact that the truth is sometimes ugly.  Consider two current cases. First, the war in Gaza and the destruction and famine it has wrought.   Policy makers, scholars, and pundits can argue whether what is happening in Gaza (and to some extent, in the West Bank) is genocide, whether the leveling of Gaza and the systematic killing of its people is equivalent to the Holocaust, or whether Palestinians have the right to free themselves by any means necessary from an open-air prison.   They can debate whether Israel has become an apartheid, undemocratic state, or whether the only way to achieve security in Israel is to ring-fence or destroy Hamas. And they can construct theories about who has the “right” to live in historic Palestine, e...
Post a Comment
Read more

THE IRON TRIANGLE

Corruption.   It’s like an operating system running in the background on the Computer of Life that inflects and infects everything we do and what is done to us.   Corruption is epidemic, endemic, and systemic. Universal, it is everywhere and all at once.   When he was the director of the FBI, Robert E. Mueller III gave an address to the Citizens Crime Commission of New York and opened a new window on the operating system of corruption:   transnational organized crime.   He called this new operating system an “iron triangle.” Its three sides:  organized criminals, corrupt government officials, and business leaders.    In her June 17, 2025, Substack , Heather Cox Richardson recalled Mueller’s address in an account of foreign investment in President Trump’s businesses.   She wrote: Eliot Brown of the Wall Street Journal reported that Mukesh Ambani, the richest man in India, is now one of the many wealthy foreign real estate develope...
Post a Comment
Read more