Step right up, ladies and gentlemen ! Welcome to the Big Top at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC, home of the 2024 Narcissist Games! This presidential election year, we have a really special show for you: T wo C heeks of the S ame Arse! On the left cheek above and pictured below, i s Mr. I A lone C an W in I t ! And on the right cheek above and pictured below, is Mr. I A lone C an F ix I t ! We’ve got a really great 119 days of sheer fun lined up for you, folks! Here are just a few of the exciting events you can count on: Watch the candidates toss word salads at each other from their clown cars! Thrill to the sight of each taking a selfish! Experience your very own disorienting sense of...