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HIGH COUP! HAIKU!

 As I was in the shower this morning, Muellering over high crimes and misdemeanors, it occurred to me that January 6, 2021, was the day of the high coup that almost was.  The phrase “high coup” triggered the word “haiku,” and suddenly it was off to the races on a Proustian madeleine. 

When I was still a member of Facebook, I joined a private group dedicated to writing haiku for/about Trump.  You remember haiku--a three-line, beautifully descriptive form of Japanese poetry intended to be read in one breath.  The traditional structure of a haiku is always the same:

There are only three lines, totaling 17 syllables.

The first line has five syllables, the second seven, and the last five.

Punctuation and capitalization are up to the writer.

There is no rigid sentence structure.

A haiku needn’t rhyme and usually doesn’t, but it may repeat sounds and words.

Traditional subjects are animals, nature, seasons, or something completely different.

The Facebook group seized on the “something completely different” part and added one more requirement:  the haiku must be about Trump. 

So, in remembrance of the High Coup, I offer these Haiku (or Lowku, if you prefer) from the harrowing years of the Trump Maladministration. 

 

He loves covfefe.

It gives him a good sit down.

Helps him when he tweets.

 


 

Infrastructure bill?

No-bid contracts for his pals.

Watch him while he scams.

 

 

Free press?  Who needs it?

He tunes in to Fox instead.

Rips Dems a new one.

 

 


Jared, oh, Jared!

Where have you been my young man?

At the god’s left hand.

 

 


Tax cuts for the rich?

Gonna get me some of that!

Bye bye alt min tax.

 

 

Me and Mini-Me,

the dastardly duo, said,

“Let’s blow up the world!”

 

 


Trump at the lectern…

I dread his mendacious rants.

Such a horse’s ass!

 

 

Khashoggi?  Who cares?

Saudis get nukes and some bombs.

Rebalanced Middle East.

 


 

Khashoggi?  Who cares?

Netanyahu is happy,

“More settlements?  Thanks!”

 

 

Khashoggi?  Who cares?

Kushner keeps 666.

Courtesy Qataris.

 


 

“Like you’ve never seen

before.  I promise you that.

My nine iron, please.”

 

 

He likes steak well-done

with ketchup and a Diet Coke.

Big-league, high-class act.

 

 

Dotard, you’re a turd.

How can this man sleep at night?

National nightmare.

 

 


“Unfair!”  “Yuuge!”  “A mess!”

Would somebody please buy this

dude a thesaurus?

 

 

You’re a disaster,

Cheeto face with orange hair!

Time to hang it up.

 


 

Trump’s dumb as a stump.

Tariffs put us in a slump.

Another pump and dump.

 

 

“Corona?  What’s that?

We have one or two cases.

All gone by Easter.”

 

 

Warp Speed those vaccines

But to hell with the blue states!

Go figure it out.

 

 


Cases uncounted.

Doctors and nurses in shock.

No room for corpses.

 

 

“Election was rigged!

I actually won it,

won it by a lot.”

 

 

“Proud Boys, we love you.

You’re special and you know it.

Time to kick some ass!”

 


 

 

“Peacefully march there

With your riot gear and clubs.

Flags unfurled as spears.”

 

 


Impeachment’s a farce

In multiple acts and scenes.

I’m panning the play.


 

Trumpty Dumpty sat

on a wall.  Trumpty Dumpty

had a bigly fall.

 


Trump, Trump such a lump!

How I wish he’d crawl away

to Mar-a-Logo.

 

 

So much spin!

Washington is a carousel.

Going to puke now.


 He is scaring me.

I can’t watch him anymore.

Get me out of here!

 

Keep it real!  And wear your damn mask!  (But not the one above!)

Marilyn

P.S.  About that Department of Defense Operation Warp Speed logo....Is it me or is that a Q?  Asking for a conspiratorial friend.

 

Comments

  1. Wow. There are some truly brllliant Haikus in there. Well done.!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Frost on the gallows.
    Cold winters morn
    Nip in the air

    ReplyDelete

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