LIVING IN A STATE OF GRACE

Last night, as I was watching cable news and saw the increase in the number of reported cases of COVID-19 and the inexorably growing number of deaths worldwide, I had a mild panic attack.  My heart started racing and I think I may have actually left my body for a moment.  My imagination ran rampant and I began to wonder when the countries battling the Coronavirus would throw in the towel on flattening the curve and saving lives and go to Plan B:  the Eskimo Solution.  That’s the one where clear-eyed mathematicians, social anthropologists, and economists calculate and conclude that the people most likely to die of a COVID-19 infection are those who use the most of the world’s finite medical resources, while contributing the least to the world’s economy and society.  From a purely cost-benefit analysis, wouldn’t it make sense to put all of us net-negatives on some ice floes (if you can find any) and wave tearful goodbyes?

At that point, my mind—thank god for my mind—kicked in and said, “Whoa, whoa, whoa there little filly!  Slow down. You can’t panic, because if you panic, you’ll panic your husband, and then he might panic, and if he panics, then it’s pretty much game over.”

After that little talking to, I climbed down from the ceiling and consciously willed myself into a calm state.  The first thing that popped into my mind, completely unexpectedly, was my maternal grandmother, Grace (above).  Surprised but immensely pleased at her reappearance in my consciousness, I embarked on an historical survey of her life, and it gave me great comfort.  I hope it will give you some comfort, too.

Grace Madeline S. was born on May 29, 1898, to an austere mother of English background (above) and a lyrical father born in Alsace-Lorraine (below).  "Pa" was a master dyer in the Lyon silk industry and emigrated to the U.S. to pursue his skill in the silk mills of Paterson, N.J.  He sang in a local production of Gilbert & Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance, and of course he spoke French.  However, he was forbidden by my great grandmother, “Ma," from speaking a foreign tongue (because she undoubtedly did not understand a word of it) inside the house.  So when his French-speaking friends came to visit, he and they were banished to the back garden to converse.  Such was the desire in America at that time to “fit in.”  Not so different from today. 

Grace died on the night of Mother’s Day, May 10, 1987, having spent the afternoon with my parents.  In the course of her 89 years, my grandmother witnessed phenomenal changes in American life, from the Wright Brothers’ first powered flight at Kitty Hawk in 1903, to Neil Armstrong’s first steps on the moon in 1969.  Here are some of the events that took place during her lifetime:

·         1904 The U.S. acquires the Panama Canal Zone (this has an important role in Grace’s life)

·         1905 Albert Einstein publishes his Theory of Relativity

·         1908 The Ford Model T appears on the market

·         1909 The NAACP is founded by W. E. B. Du Bois

·         1912 The RMS Titanic sinks

·         1913 The16th Amendment establishes the Income Tax

·         1914 Mother’s Day becomes a national holiday

·         1916 Jeanette Rankin is the first woman elected to Congress

·         1917 The U.S. enters World War I

·         1917 Grace is engaged to Roy, who is then called up by the U.S. Army

·         1918-1919 the Spanish Flu infects 500 million worldwide, killing 50 million, 675,000 in the U.S. alone, many of them in the military

·         1918 Roy succumbs to the Spanish Flu defending the Panama Canal Zone

·         1918 The Armistice ends World War I

·         1919 The 18^th Amendment establishes Prohibition

·         1920 The 19^th Amendment grants women the right to vote

·         1920+/- Grace graduates from Montclair State Teacher’s College and starts teaching first grade in the Montvale, N.J. public schools

·         1924? Grace meets Samuel N. while commuting to work; they marry

·         1926 Grace gives birth to a daughter, my aunt (below left)

·         1927 The Jazz Singer, the first motion picture with sound, is released

·         1928 Grace gives birth to a second daughter, my mother (below, right)

·         1928 Steamboat Willie, the first Mickey Mouse movie, is released

·         1928 Amelia Earhart becomes the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic

·         1929 The Dow Jones plunges a record 68 points over  a 2-day period, setting off the  Great Depression

·         1929-1933 More than 13 million people are unemployed

·         1933 Franklin D. Roosevelt launches the New Deal

·         1939 Hitler invades Poland

·         1941 The Japanese attack Pearl Harbor and the U.S. enters World War II

·         1945 The U.S. drops two atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki

·         1947 The Cold War begins

·         1948 The U.S. launches $13 billion Marshall Plan to rebuild Europe (in its own image)

·         1950-1954 Sen. Joe McCarthy starts his anti-communist crusade

·         1950-1953 The Korean War

·         1954 Racial segregation in schools becomes unconstitutional

·         1960 John F. Kennedy is elected president

·         1963 President Kennedy is assassinated and Lyndon Johnson becomes president

·         1964 The Civil Rights Act is passed

·         1965-1973 The Vietnam War

·         1968 Martin Luther King and Robert F. Kennedy are assassinated

·         1969 Richard Nixon is elected and Neil Armstrong walks on the moon

·         1972 President Nixon opens the door to China and authorizes the Watergate break-in

·         1974 President Nixon is forced to resign and Gerald Ford becomes president

·         1976 Jimmy Carter is elected president

·         1979 Terrorists hold American hostages at the U.S. Embassy in Tehran

·         1980 Ronald Reagan is elected president

·         1986 The Challenger space shuttle explodes, killing all aboard

The point of reciting these historical events is this:  PERSPECTIVE.  Grace PERSEVERED in the face of history.  She witnessed the horrors of World War I and survived the Spanish Flu as a young woman of 20.  She lost the love of her life, Roy (below), to the pandemic.   

She married Sam (below), a good man who was not the love of her life; and she made ends meet with this man and their two young daughters during the Great Depression.  She was knocked down again and again by World War II, the Korean War, the Cold War, and the Vietnam War, but each time she got up and kept on going.  She lived through three political assassinations, one presidential resignation in the face of impeachment, and the brutal upheavals of the Civil Rights Movement.  She was part of an arc of history, glorious and ghastly, that stretched from the end of the 19th century to the cusp of the 21st.  

 

So when people lament that “these are unprecedented times,” remember this.  They are different times to be sure, and they are frightening times indeed, but they are not unprecedented in scale.  Those who have gone before us in the last century have proven that we can get through the current one.  These brave forebears have lit the way.  We need only follow their torch.

It is clear to me now that my grandmother suffered equal or greater hardship than anything I have yet to experience.  And I know for a fact that she emerged from adversity to live a long, prosperous, and fulfilling life.  I never knew her to complain or whine or give up.  She wasn’t bitter, nor was she traumatized.   She was a strong and unwavering woman, with a biting sense of humor and a clear sense of what needed to be done and how to do it.  When facing a challenge, she rolled up her sleeves and got going.  We can too.

My grandmother is my pathfinder, and I will do my best to walk in her shoes and live through these times in a state of Grace.

Keep it real!  Wash your hands!  Keep your distance!

Marilyn